Busy, Busy, Busy

Sometimes I wonder. . . I want to spend time with husband, I want to spend time with my daughter, I want to keep the house clean, I need to keep paying bills, I want to keep up with the laundry, I want to finish unpacking (we moved over a year ago), I want to organize the garage. . . I barely have time to blog as much as I like (or need to to be successful), so if that is true for me, is it true for others?  Who possibly has time to sit down and actually read my blogs and then. . . are they even worth reading????

Neglect

I feel like there is so much that I have to do that I have to neglect some things.  I can't give 100% in all areas of my life so I feel like a slacker in all areas of my life. Being a mom is a full time job.  It isn't fair that I also have to actually have a full time job.  Being a homemaker and mother is enough of a responsibility.  So, as I sit here blogging, I am neglecting my child, my house, and even work (yes, teachers have stuff to do on the weekend though they don't get paid for it).  All in the hopes that perhaps one day, one of my blogs will become successful enough that I can make a living blogging.  It has happened with others.  Why not me?  I should be so lucky.

Write

I love writing.  I can be good at it.  I've thought about what I could write about.  Could I write a book?  But about what?  I used to have so many ideas and now I can't think of any.  Driving in the car my thoughts wondering and think about plots and characters but nothing pans out.  Writing digital books could be an option for me, I just need to have ideas to write about!

Videos

I've thought about creating my own YouTube videos but I have no idea what kind of videos to make.  Who would want to watch me and what could I contribute that would attract a following?  Ahhh, the ultimate question. . . I guess I'll never know unless I try.  The only problem is, I don't know what to try. 

Struggling

After struggling to try to make enough money from home I realized it was necessary to leave the house and get a job.  As much as I really want to be home with my child, I need to help with the bills.  Why can't I get paid to raise my own kid?

I haven't given up.  I am more determined than ever.  I am writing articles, blogging, selling lesson plans, and continuing as a Paparazzi Consultant - all in my "spare" time.  How much "spare" time can a teacher/parent/wife have?  Not much. . . but I am determined to try and I pray I succeed.

Cleaning Up

To continue with my ant story. . .

Finding those ants happened in the morning.  Due to my daughter's outburst at seeing the ants, I avoided checking to see if I had killed them all.  I should have checked during her nap and worked on it then, but I did not.  After her nap we went to my parents' house.  When we came home I put her down for bed and I started cleaning.  Then I got distracted by my idea of starting this blog.  By the time I was ready to go to bed, it was really late (or should I say early in the morning?).

At that time I decided to check on the ant situation before I went to bed.  UGH!  They were everywhere in our bedroom and I had to spend the next 2 hours trying to get rid of them!  I should have taken care of it during her nap!

Why didn't my husband help with the ant situation you ask?  Well, I told him to go sleep on the couch because he had to get up early for work and I did not.  If he did not have to work early the next morning he would have helped, as he had done many times in the past.  But since I was on summer break and wasn't working I thought I'd let him sleep.

Ants

So the day I started this blog, I found some ants in our bedroom.  We had been having a battle with the ants for several months.  We'd find them, get rid of them. clean the area extremely well, and put down talc to avoid them from returning.

On this particular day I was so upset.  I had no idea where they were coming from.  I was sick of trying to stay on top of those pests.  I was saying things like, "Where do they keep coming from." "I can't believe it."
UGH."  As my husband puts it, I was getting emotional about it.

My daughter has seen ants before.  She has noticed them before we do.  She points at them and says, "Ants, ants."  I then try to kill all of them while she stands by laughing.  Sometimes she'll even try to step on them.

This time, a of a sudden she started freaking out.  She was border line hysterical.  I feared I had turned my normally curious child into a ant fearing one. I tried showing her how big she was and I tried stepping on ants and I told her to step on ants with me but she was too terrified to do anything.  What had I done? I traumatized my daughter for life!

Apparently I was over exaggerating because the next day (when we found more ants) she didn't seem so upset at all.  I just can't get upset when I see those ants (at least when she is around).